Have you ever talked to someone and think, wow they are so happy I’m jealous! I have, but are they? Not everything you see is true. Another question, have you ever put a smile on knowing that it’s a lie? This happens more than you think. I know I have put that face on many times. In my marriage was 4 out of 5 year I spent with my fake face.
Depression hits everyone at some point and in some way at some level. Everyone handles it differently. What frustrates me most is when people think they know what you are going through. Or they try to help you without asking what they can do to help. Like I said before everyone is different and to bug someone that isn’t themselves is not helpful at all. At least that’s what bothers me.
This is my story…..
For me Depression has been an on and off struggle. As a child I struggled with self-esteem and a mild learning disability, and being told I’d never go to College or be anything. yes I had teacher tell me that. (Just so you know I did go to college 2 times and passed. Even made the deans list.) As a teen I struggled finding who I was to be. In my 20s I was still finding my place. Through 2004-2009 I was married and struggled with post partem depression with no support. This was the hardest for me. When younger I had the support from family. When I got married I left my family and my husband and his family treated my like a foreigner from the very beginning. I was told that I didn’t belong, I was told I wasn’t good enough. Then be pregnant on top of that, just to add to my emotions. Emotional, Mental, Physically and sexual abuse took me to my limits. Not to mention alone.
One day when a fist almost came at me I said enough. Doctor and pastor at the time both said get out or it will eat you. So I did.
9 months after no antidepressant meds needed (haven’t been on any since then) College for PSW and Dental assisting passing both. Even though my road has been ruff and still is. I have proven that it is doable. How do I do it? By keeping God close, Family and church as support. Most important, keeping negative out.
Yes I still have my down days, and yes I want to be alone sometimes. This alone time has started this blog. The chance to share my stories and maybe help others know they are not alone. Oh lets not forget the most important support a mom could ever have. My two handsome men in my life. My boys are my rock and reason for getting up each morning. I fight every valley, mountain and rapids for them.
Just because someone looks ok, doesn’t mean they are. So be nice and smile. Don’t say anything as sometimes nothing is best. But let them know you care and that you are there if and when needed. Not everyone’s need is the same. Let them come to you. It’s knowing you are alone that take depression to suicided. So if you think someone is struggling. I’m here, We love you, God loves you, can go a long way. Then actually be there, don’t walk away.
Thank you to my Family, Mom and Grant, Steven and Trish, Cindy and Matt, Aunts and uncles on both sides who check in and pray for us as a family. Church family, Pastor Edwin and Joan Smart, and the music team for giving me my voice every Sunday along with fellowship and friendship. My work family, Dr Daniel for taking a chance on me and believing in me. All the staff with making me feel apart of the work family.
Smile, Love, know God loves you.
A Mom's Footprints 